Given to receive...

All different sizes, exquisitely designed wrapping paper, perfectly tied up with the most beautiful glittering ribbons.. gifts too beautiful to be opened...

I sit gazing at the beautiful boxes sitting in front of me admiring the painstaking time it must have taken to not only wrap the gifts, but the time and care taken in choosing the gorgeous wrapping. Too pretty to tear apart...imagine what must be hiding inside, I think!

Whatever it is, I surely am not worthy of such beautiful gifts...they can't possibly be for me. I walk away, slowly, dreaming and wondering, looking back over my shoulder, just one more peek. Giddy inside at the thought that they are truly meant for me, even if I can't open them, I know, because my name is clearly written on the tag.

It's okay, I will enjoy just admiring them for what they are, beautiful wrappings.

God has been showing me this week that this, these wrapped up boxes, beautiful though they are, is how I look at life, and how I live it. I live in a box of my own making.

The two biggest boxes are the "me" Box and my God Box.

The "me" box, which I carefully wrapped up all by myself is filled with all the trappings of the enemy's greatest tools; fear, doubt, shame, bitterness; some pretty ugly junk from the trunk of life. The beautiful of the "me" box has made it's way down through all the wadded up tissue and sits hidden in the dark corners. It's probably better if this one stays wrapped. That way they can only see the pretty paper and bow.

My God box...the most beautiful and mysterious of all. Breathtaking. Untouchable. That's what I have told myself. You can look, and desire it more than your next breath. You can claim it, and hold His promises right in the palms of your hands, read it even...but receive it? Open it?

I have opened, have received! Have been covered and held! Praise God! But always, always, I find myself looking inward and seeing ugly, I won't allow myself to hold it for too long. Better to give it back than to have it taken from me.

I have lived the mantra, "be careful what you ask for, you just may get it." It's been excruciatingly painful at times. When you ask God to break you so you can be more like Him. Ummmm...that's not something He takes lightly, especially when He knows you're sincere.

So my gifts continue to pile high to the ceiling, begging to be opened so that I can not only receive them; the blessings of His great love for me, but so I can give them away and really live! Live and enjoy life to the full. Open the box that keeps me from all He has for me. Open His box, fully trust and experience Him for Who He truly is and not who I have made him to be.

As I open this Greatest Gift of all, the one I thought I had all figured out, I am finding that He truly does love me right where I am at. I don't have to be good enough or obsess about keeping rule #544 in order to receive His grace or approval. I am His...just as I am. His child. Made to receive His Love. Unconditional.

Trust His Love. Receive His Love and live it! With a Joyful, Thank-filled heart! Tear off the beautiful wrappings, open His gifts and see what blessings He has for you!

All Things New

2Cor.5:17  Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun.

Thank you, Jesus, for things new...

New: refreshed, different from one of the same that has existed previously...unfamiliar.

A place to start over. Refresh yourself. Change directions. Begin anew.

"His mercies are new every morning."

Not only can I look at my life, my past, and change the big parts; the habits, the lies I have believed, the box I had created for You and for myself ~ I get to wake up everyday and confess it all...my mistakes, regrets, my attitudes not so pleasing, and then...

You begin to change me from the inside out~ to be more like You.

I can trust, and love...You for now. Baby steps. Biggest. Best steps. Taken toward You.

Catch me when I fall, Father. Everyday. As I stumble and try to find my way. This redirecting in my life can be, and has been painful. Painful, yet necessary.

Necessary for Your Glory.

I am tired. Exhausted. The road of refining has been long and littered in minefields, each revealing a ticking bomb waiting to explode inside of me. And then...

You gently turn m me away, protecting me from self destruction, and lead me back to You with Your gentle whispers.

The enemy wants to fill my head with lies and fear; "You're through. Finished. Burned out. You've been replaced. Forgotten." But God softly speaks to my heart, "I will make up to you for the years that the swarming locust has eaten..." (Joel 2:25a)

God is the only One Who can take ugly, broken and confused and make something beautiful and useful come from it.

Lord Jesus, heal my locust bites. The ones that threaten to infect me. The ugly ones I don't want exposed. I don't want to hide them from you any longer ~ I am ready to put the past behind me and be all you have purposed for me.

Redeemed ~ my new identity. The names do not matter to You. I am made new, and they...the names, they are scars healing. 

My Dad's world...

As most of you know, our dad has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. Looking back, I can remember seeing signs of it about 2009, when he came to help me move into my home in Holland.
     Things that he would have finished in a few hours, like hanging the blinds, took the entire 10 days he was with me. Yes, he accomplished other tasks as well, but that in particular was what first caught my attention.
     Of course, since that time, his condition has worsened.

 Having spent the past week here I am able to see a change even from my last visit this past October. My heart breaks watching him revert back into a child. One who needs constant care and watching over, one whose knowledge is limited, but unlike a child, he won't be learning more as he grows older, he will continue to lose what is left.
     Physically he is deteriorating in many ways too. This once vibrant, "never sit still, there's too much to do" man, now spends his days wandering from room to room looking for my stepmom, or the cat, only to go back to his chair and sleep the day away, then wake up and worry and wonder where she is, again. And this is his day...everyday.

And then she, Gloria, my step mom, comes home and all is right with his world. Until she leaves the room...then the wandering begins until he finds her; down the hall, taking out the garbage, or out on the porch. Even a minute out of his sight is an hour to him.

My heart goes out to her. She spends all day working, and answering her phone to his endless calls, "when are you coming home...I can't find Blacky...did I take my pills?...when are you coming home?" It doesn't matter that I am there, or that the caregiver is with him.

 Then, she comes home and cooks and cares for him and all the responsibilities of the household, until she drops. And then tomorrow comes, and it's the same as the day before.

She is watching her husband disappear before her eyes, yet her love for him and perseverance to take care of him never waivers. Her respite is when he is finally calm enough to fall asleep in the chair. Then she finds the next thing that needs to be seen to. Sometimes I wonder how her wings never seem to get in the way as she goes from task to task and room to room trying to keep their lives together. I haven't heard her complain yet, other than to say that she is tired. When I ask her, "how do you do it?", she replies, "he's my husband." I can't imagine my life without him."

She knows the time is coming, sooner rather than later, when we will all have to face the time when the disease has completely taken him from us, but there is comfort in the knowledge that her love for him will only grow stronger the further away he drifts.

God, I pray that you would continue to strengthen and uplift Gloria each and every day, by Your Grace and Mercy. Provide her with the wisdom to know what to do for him in the upcoming days, months, and years as dad's condition worsens. Cover her and bring her great Peace. Bring her help and support, Father. She is very private and will not complain or ask for help, so bring it to her, I pray In Jesus' precious and Holy Name. Amen.

Windows of Hope

...like broken windows, sunlight shines through the remains left in tact,
but Christ's love PIERCES through the shard of our brokenness

There is a girl. Just turned "Sweet 16". But unlike the old adage, "Sweet 16, never been kissed," this young girl has been
"sold", secretly, since she was a child, by a family member, to support a drug habit.
You know her. If you are reading this. You know her. For her protection, I will not disclose her name.

If you are reading this, you live within 30 miles of where she grew up and this horrific, gut-wrenching act
was forced upon her while she was growing up in our schools. Waking up each morning, after a night of soul-stealing by men she didn't know and couldn't fight off, she would paste on her "let's go to school" smile and sit in your classroom and play with your child. The group of girls who as teens, used to "hang out" in your kitchen, laughing and talking about the next football game.
And then she had to go home, to her literal hell on earth, to obey and to please.
Her life threatened to end if she did not.
I imagine there were many times when that option seemed like the better of the two.

And then God said..."It is finished!" As He has before. Enough is enough.
This is my child.
She will be delivered today.
And through a myriad of events, He alone orchestrated and provided her way out of this bondage that was not to be hers. This is not from God.
God loves His children.
He is our Redeemer. Our Deliverer. Our Healer.

And He is...Through the unconditional love of Jesus Christ, and the those He has called to help with the healing at
Abba's House,
this young girl's life, and the lives of the family members who had no idea what was happening to their child,
God is doing a great and mighty work for His Kingdom.
That you may know.

The program at Abba's House, is a minimum of 18 months, up  to 3 years, depending on the trauma that the child has experienced. It costs the family(s) between $3000-$4000/month for the rehabilitation and care they receive at the home.
What a tremendous burden, not to mention the pain and anguish they are all dealing with.
My heart breaks for them.

Yet, God is good! And there has been great healing and miracles in their lives and hearts,
where He has taken up residence, and will remain, FOREVER.

Please join me helping to support this family. The repurposed windows, that are for sale at Cozy Cottage Blessings, LLC, via Facebook or at Not So Shabby Antique Mall, Holland, Michigan are for sale to help to support this family in our own community. Will you consider purchasing a window, for yourself, or perhaps a gift?
100% of the proceeds goes to Abba's House, and directly deposited to their account.
Checks may be written to Abba's House and I will send them immediately.

Please check out the site, www.abbashousetc.com, to see the amazing work God is doing in the lives of these traumatized teens and their families.

The windows for purchase are pictured on FB, Cozy Cottage Blessing, LLC.
You may email, or call, for my address in which to purchase your window and/or mail your check. If  you live fairly close to the Holland area, I will hand deliver your window so as to save shipping cost.

God Bless you all this holiday season. May the Giver of all Good Gifts speak to your hearts and abide with you,
now and forevermore.
Amen.

Abba's House | Rescue. Restore. Rebuild.

www.abbashousetc.com

Abba's House is a center of mercy and refuge, a safe place for young adults and families to be healed and restored. House of Hope is located in Traverse City, Michigan.

Thank you, Jesus, that I don't have to know why, when, or how, because You already do. I praise You that Your perspective is what determines the outcome for my good. I surrender to Your will, Lord, believing and praying that the desires of my heart bring you all glory. Amen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l26UoD-N2hA

"Nothing Is Wasted"

The hurt that broke your heart
And left you trembling in the dark
Feeling lost and alone
Will tell you hope's a lie
But what if every tear you cry
Will seed the ground where joy will grow

And nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

It's from the deepest wounds
That beauty finds a place to bloom 
And you will see before the end
That every broken piece is
Gathered in the heart of Jesus
And what's lost will be found again

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted

From the ruins 
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine

Nothing is wasted
Nothing is wasted
In the hands of our Redeemer
Nothing is wasted
[x2]

From the ruins 
From the ashes
Beauty will rise
From the wreckage
From the darkness
Glory will shine
Glory will shine

I am with you, I am with you, I am with you...

"Will you call me when you have a minute? I have something I need to talk with you about. God has put you on my heart so strongly lately. Can we make a phone date tomorrow night at 8pm?"

There's a girl. With a baby.
They need a home.
She's a good girl. Wants to finish school, go to college, provide for her child.
I mentor her.
God put you on my heart.

There is no room at the inn right now.
I want to help. It must not be me. We will pray.

"Lord, find a home. A godly woman, to love on this woman-child
and her baby.."

"Do you live in Holland? I used to date a woman that lives in Holland. She used to be a golf pro, now she has started a ministry."

Lord, You are here. We were talking about trick or treaters? This supplier, who stops in randomly to check inventory. On his way out, just making conversation.... 

"She isn't home very often. She is considering a room mate for the basement of her home. We're not dating any longer. She travels a lot."

Lord, You are here. I can think only of her. I have no idea why he is telling me all of this because he doesn't know our prayer, this woman-child's need for a home. My heart is pounding. There are God moments and there is God Present. You are here, in this moment. 

"I have a friend. She mentors a young girl with a baby. They need a home. They need a home in Holland. They need a godly woman to love on them. It's not me. We've been praying, and now, on your way out the door, leaving your work day, you tell me about a woman you stopped dating a couple weeks ago in the middle of a conversation about trick or treaters last night." God is here. "I am with you..."

"Can I call her? What is her name?"

"I will call her. You pray."

Yes, we will pray. "Have a good weekend. Let me know if we can contact her."
"I will. You pray."

Lord Jesus, You are with me. In this moment. This is not head knowledge. My heart is aching. Ready to burst wide open. Lord, hear our prayer. Provide. Love. And a home, for a young girl chasing after You.  

Psalm 37:3-5 Trust in the LORD and do good; Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD; And He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

Kiss the Rain

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so6ExplQlaY

Thank you, Heavenly Father, for the gift of beautiful music. This must be just a glimpse of
what we will hear when we see you face to face.