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Things that he would have finished in a few hours, like hanging the blinds, took the entire 10 days he was with me. Yes, he accomplished other tasks as well, but that in particular was what first caught my attention.
Of course, since that time, his condition has worsened.
Having spent the past week here I am able to see a change even from my last visit this past October. My heart breaks watching him revert back into a child. One who needs constant care and watching over, one whose knowledge is limited, but unlike a child, he won't be learning more as he grows older, he will continue to lose what is left.
Physically he is deteriorating in many ways too. This once vibrant, "never sit still, there's too much to do" man, now spends his days wandering from room to room looking for my stepmom, or the cat, only to go back to his chair and sleep the day away, then wake up and worry and wonder where she is, again. And this is his day...everyday.
And then she, Gloria, my step mom, comes home and all is right with his world. Until she leaves the room...then the wandering begins until he finds her; down the hall, taking out the garbage, or out on the porch. Even a minute out of his sight is an hour to him.
My heart goes out to her. She spends all day working, and answering her phone to his endless calls, "when are you coming home...I can't find Blacky...did I take my pills?...when are you coming home?" It doesn't matter that I am there, or that the caregiver is with him.
Then, she comes home and cooks and cares for him and all the responsibilities of the household, until she drops. And then tomorrow comes, and it's the same as the day before.
She is watching her husband disappear before her eyes, yet her love for him and perseverance to take care of him never waivers. Her respite is when he is finally calm enough to fall asleep in the chair. Then she finds the next thing that needs to be seen to. Sometimes I wonder how her wings never seem to get in the way as she goes from task to task and room to room trying to keep their lives together. I haven't heard her complain yet, other than to say that she is tired. When I ask her, "how do you do it?", she replies, "he's my husband." I can't imagine my life without him."
She knows the time is coming, sooner rather than later, when we will all have to face the time when the disease has completely taken him from us, but there is comfort in the knowledge that her love for him will only grow stronger the further away he drifts.
God, I pray that you would continue to strengthen and uplift Gloria each and every day, by Your Grace and Mercy. Provide her with the wisdom to know what to do for him in the upcoming days, months, and years as dad's condition worsens. Cover her and bring her great Peace. Bring her help and support, Father. She is very private and will not complain or ask for help, so bring it to her, I pray In Jesus' precious and Holy Name. Amen.
